2 p.m., September 17, 2015

By Lynn Hiebert, CEO, PLASP

I was humbled and honoured when Frank asked me to give Fern’s eulogy. I held Fern is such high regard, as I know did all of you. So I felt the full impact of this honour and the responsibility.

A eulogy tells a person’s story – who they were and how they made a difference during their lifetime. I feel I can best eulogize Fern by talking about her PLASP story, since that’s the story I know best.

So let me paint a picture for you. In your mind’s eye, imagine if you will, a shiny red Camaro pulling up to the front of the PLASP office. The driver’s door opens and out steps a pair of high-heeled red shoes, followed by the red-headed driver who’s wearing those shoes. Yes, that’s Fern, heading in to the PLASP office for some of her famous training. And at this point she was well into her 70s!

But Fern’s involvement with PLASP goes back decades – back to about 1980. Fortuitously, the agency Fern was working for at the time was located in the same building as the PLASP head office. That’s where Fern met Sylvia Leal, PLASP CEO. They hit it off immediately. Fern became Sylvia’s lifelong confidante, advisor and friend.

Sylvia commissioned Fern to develop and teach staff professional development courses for PLASP. Courses like Self Esteem, which is still being taught today to every new staff member hired. Fern taught this course, and others, for many years. This course has been life changing for many staff who participated. Fern had a way of getting staff to talk about themselves in the groups, because she shared so many of her own stories.

When the PLASP administrative group was smaller, Fern used to meet with the new staff after their orientation for a few months to do a “how’s it going” meeting. Fern also counselled some staff before PLASP had a formal employee assistance program. Regardless, staff tell me that she was a mentor to all who knew her.

Fern was known for her sayings—sayings which she imparted during the training that staff still repeat years later. Here’s an example of a Fern-ism, as some call them: “Why worry? It’s a waste of your good energy and to worry doesn't mean you care more."

Here’s another one. Fern always said, "People are not mind readers,‎ you need to tell them what you want.”

Or actually, the way I first heard it was a little more specific. She would tell the story in the training that she quickly learned in her marriage to tell Frank, “Tell me I look good.” Of course, from having seen them together, I don’t think she had to tell Frank too many times before he had it all figured out – and perhaps that’s how you stay married for 63 years like Frank and Fern were!

Personally, I’ve known Fern for almost four years. When I stepped into those very large CEO shoes, Fern invited me to meet her at her home for tea. I brought my daughter Steph with me. Well, I fell in love with Fern right on the spot. And of course it didn’t hurt that she loved my daughter – a fellow social worker! As everyone here knows, she just had such as ability to instantly make you feel valued. How I know this so personally….she was so affirming and positive…..every single time we talked together.

So, I’ve visited Fern and Frank in their home a number of times over the past four years. For her 90^th birthday, for example, my husband Rick and both my daughters and I took Fern and Frank out for dinner. We had a wonderful time, we all loved spending time with each other. It was a magical evening.

I’m not the only person who has described Fern as magical. At a meeting I attended held at one of our school boards, I ran into a former colleague from the board who at one point of her career had worked for PLASP and therefore knew Fern. We both agreed that there was something uncanny about her ability to understand what people needed without them saying a word. After a Self Esteem session, she would often point out a person and say – this person needs extra mentoring, that person will want some additional support. All done in the most positive, caring way. She was so perceptive and lovely.

I know I’m not alone in saying that. Everyone felt the same way. How do I know? Well, Frank and Fern were such amazing supporters of PLASP—they came to every event. And when Fern would come to an event like as our Staff Appreciation Event, the staff would give her such a long applause! That really tells you what an impact she had on every person in our organization.

I’m sure every one of the 1200 staff would want the opportunity to share with Fern’s family and friends how much she meant to them. Here is just one example. Someone from PLASP, close to Fern, shared this message with her back in June:

Dear Fern,
I often think of you these days ... and how you've made such a positive difference in the world for so many people, including myself, and how much you mean to me.
Your sense of humour, your caring and compassion, your many stories that you have shared, both funny and sad, all those things are so much a part of you... your home-made bread and delicious pies, your red high heels and purse and always looking so stylish!  
You are an amazing role model.       
 

I saw Fern for the last time on September 1st. I sat by her bedside and immediately she took hold of my hand.  I enjoyed looking at the screen in their bedroom with badges she and Frank had saved from every PLASP event they had attended over the years…. and even other events.

As I sat with her, before I even had a chance to ask how she was feeling, she said, “Lynn, make sure you’re taking care of yourself.” That was Fern. So we shared some stories and some laughs and a kiss and hug good-bye before I left. Fern loved hugs and didn’t think people hugged enough these days.

It’s been said that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.  At PLASP, we are grateful for the opportunity to have known Fern. We are grateful for the way in which our lives have been blessed and enriched by knowing her. We are in wonder and in awe of everything she taught us and will continue to teach us as we remember her life lessons and the memory of the example she set for us. We are so grateful to her family and friends that they were willing to share Fern with us. To her beloved husband Frank. To her son Randall and his family – including her grandchildren Scott, Steven, Susan and Lauren. To her sister Muriel. All of us at PLASP want you to know what a special place Fern has in the life of our organization. She is truly loved by all.

Over time, our sadness will be transformed, and we’ll once again be able to remember Fern only with the fondness, joy, laughter and admiration that has always been in our hearts for her. For now, our comfort must be in joining with others who knew and loved Fern so well.

Let us take good care of ourselves and each other at this sad time, as Fern would urge us to do, if she were here.